“Try” a little more…

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I’ve already had to quiet Ted down a bit today. We were talking before about binge-watching our shows and how it may be #selfishaf. That’s right, I hash-tagged. The last couple of days, I have been shamefully binge-watching more SATC and I’ve gotten a few things out of it:

  • How much of a shit friend Carrie really was. How right Samantha almost always was.
  • How I kind of love Anthony’s incessant bitchiness.
  • How much I envy the freedom Carrie has in her profession and how much I desperately want to duplicate it for myself.
  • How impressionable I may actually be.

On the plus side, if this works out of course, I am more than happy to give Carrie credit.

When you’re already selfish AF, binge-watching seems to be a way to justify a sort of conscious and/or intentional lethargy. Regardless if you’re watching, or just listening, it’s as if we (or I) use it to drown everything else out. Get lost in the fantasy world of someone else’s creation. What really needs to happen, is bit of compartmentalization in our selfish AF lives.

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Is this really okay? Are we accepting it as part of our cultural evolution? I think there are really two very important factors of being, Selfish. As. Fuck. The first, is that we really understand who we are, internally. And admitting to ourselves, who we really want to be. Both requires honesty. We all have an inner dialogue that we talk to, I call mine “Ted.” She’s my coach, she’s lazy, she’s my bad influence and on the occasion, she’s my cheerleader. Ted knows me more than anyone else in the world, because she’s also the keeper of my deepest, darkest secrets. We all have them. They’re the shameful things we keep deep within us and never let out, for fear of judgement. Like, how I attempt to switch around jewelry that I wear, so that I don’t hurt the other jewelry’s feelings.

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…Moving on…

What we need to do, is slow the F down and really listen to our inner Ted (or whatever you’ve named yours) and be willing to hear what she(/he) has to say about who you are. My Ted knows that, more than really anything else, I want to be traveling. All over the world, no expense spared. However, since I can’t, there are things at home that I would rather be doing. That really requires virtually no brain activity, like binge-watching.

The challenge is that it has become more of an unhealthy vice than a hobby, which I am sure is what it was meant to be- or some even consider it to be. To the point where I have had to start forcing myself to find other (more healthy) actual hobbies and and activities to replace it with. Like painting, playing guitar (poorly), getting my ass to the gym etc etc. The Catch-22, in my opinion, is that there should always be something selfish that we do just for ourselves. There is this bizarre idea in society today, that we’re not allowed to think of ourselves first. And yet, no one else will. It is up to us to be a little selfish from time to time (within moderation), because no one is here to take care of you first, except you. #adulting. It’s bullshit, I know, but that is where we are now. Find peace in it, find your inner “Ted.”

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